I've been more or less frustrated with my art progress for quite some time now. Or more in the fact that it feels like there is none. I've slowed down a lot and I feel very uncertain about what I should be doing. So I decided to stop for a moment and look back on my journey:
When I re-started with art at the end of 2012, my works kept steadily improving and my coloring skills in particular were improving rather fast. I was studying all the time. I did research on different tools and thanks to this I learned about things like 'light fastness' or 'acid free' or 'archival'. I also familiarized myself with digital art and bought myself a Wacom Bamboo - tablet.
Back when I started I first made more digital art and I thought that traditional art would just be a choice that I could get into when I need a change or can't access my computer for some reason.
This is one of my earliest works. It's from the end of 2012 or from the very beginning of 2013. I wanted so much to get familiar with digital art. I didn't really study proper techniques yet. I just started to draw and paint.
I also colored a lot of my older drawings. The original drawing for this one is either from 2007 or 2008 and I colored it at the beginning of 2013.
Here I wanted to try a program called ArtRage. I was aiming for a more painterly style. My eyes soon started to react to the monitor light and I got eye pain and migraines.
At the end of the day digital art didn't exactly bring me the kind of happiness and joy than I would've wanted. I also started to react to the monitor light a lot and my eyes became sore and I got migraine attacks. My wrist also got strained from using the tablet since the pen is rather thick and the wrist movements are a bit different than when drawing with pencil and paper.
I missed drawing on paper and I suddenly remembered the times when I first found DeviantArt and I admired Goldenwolf's watercolor + colored pencil art. I seem to remember that I first used some Derwent products like InkTense. However I quickly got very frustrated with them. Then when I got my beloved Polychromos, the world seemed to open up a little. My 120 color case of Polychromos has been traveling with me since the day I bought them: 17th of January 2013.
One
of my first works with colored pencils. The drawing technique limps
quite a bit and the coloring work is really sloppy. I was also using
inked lineart.
This
one has a nice idea but it's obvious that I had absolutely no clue
about proper composition. But at least there's a hint of perspective and
the roots of the trees are somewhat OK.
This was a very quick, heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. I still can't draw Northern Lights much better than this :D
I
made this picture for a Finnish magazine art contest. I was very
disappointed when I wasn't even placed in the competition. But when I
look at this picture now the drawing itself might be somewhat OK but the
coloring is really sloppy. There's ugly pencil marks all over the
background.
Although I liked working with colored pencils a lot, I quickly realized how time-consuming they are. So I started to do research on how to make the process quicker and I finally decided to try either watercolor pencils or real watercolors. I first tried watercolor since watercolor pencils seemed like they would be too expensive. I did a lot of different Christmas cards.
This had a nice idea but the sloppy, smudgy coloring ruins it. The background in particular could've been a million times better.
This one I'm pretty satisfied with. However I had absolutely no idea how to draw the snouts on the hedgehogs. It kind of looks like someone has been drawing Ginga - dogs as a kid :D
This one also had a nice idea but I couldn't really draw the background as I had seen it in my head.
I got very frustrated with watercolor rather quickly and I thought that 'I just can't do it'. Afterwards I've realized that the paper that I was using simply wasn't suitable for my technique but I didn't realize it back then so I ended up buying the watercolor pencils and thought that it would open up a whole new dimension.
A card that I made for my mum when she graduated as a institution cleaner. This was mainly done with watercolor pencils. Painting the background was very difficult as the pigment simply didn't behave the way I would've wanted.
Yet another watercolor pencil experiment. This one clearly shows how much difficulties I had with larger areas.
I did a lot of different cards using watercolor pencils and colored pencils. I was still using inked lineart.
I quickly started to get frustrated with the limitations of watercolor pencils. They worked really well with smaller areas but with bigger areas they didn't work as well as I would've hoped. I was feeling very frustrated and I thought that maybe I would find some kind of solution from digital tools. So I started experimenting with a mixed-media method where I did a full graphite drawing and then colored it digitally.
This one I worke for a very long time. I used a photo as reference. Now when I look back at this after all this time I realize that I didn't really have permission from the original photographer to use this photo. Do NOT do this! It is wrong!
A cute, silly little fox that I designed with my nephew in mind.
A still life study. Here the end result is rather impressive but as I was slapping on the colors digitally I kept feeling like it wasn't really 'me' who was working on the painting.
It didn't take long for my eye and migraine problems to re-appear even with this technique. The constant frustration towards my different tools was really starting to get in the way of my work. The next year I kept jumping around between different techniques.
I wanted to try watercolors again and while I was super happy with the end result I felt very uneasy about the fact that I can't really control watercolor. Now later I understand that the paper just didn't fit. I was also starting to get annoyed by my way of drawing lines. I also made up my new signature. I wanted something funny and unique so the squiggly 'kitty' M's were born :)
I decided to take a few steps back and just do pure colored pencil work. Here I tried some realism. I also used the 'colored pencil powder - technique' for the first time on the background. I scrape a little bit of pencil powder on the paper and then I blend it with a cotton pud. I also started doing works without inked lineart.
This is still one of my favorite works. The technique might not be super impressive but I really like the feeling of it.
I made a small series of commission works. The themes were spring, summer, autumn and winter. The picture of the waxwing also belongs to this series and represents winter but it was done at the end of 2014.
Here I had a good idea but the execution of it was rather weak.
Here I tried Hahnemühle's Bamboo paper for the first time. It was a bizarre experience but I started to get interested in different kind of paper. Up till now I had this obsession over smooth papers.
Ditching the inked lineart seemed to push my works to the right direction. I started to color more softer and more carefully. Since I wasn't just 'coloring inside the lines' anymore I started to pay more attention to shading and color theory.
Here I tried watercolor pencils again. The paper was bamboo paper. This was a contest entry to DeviantArt's Ori and the Blind Forest - group contest. I shared 1st place with another contestant :)
More experimentation with watercolor pencils. I also started to pay more attention to backgrounds.
I also started to try out different papers and card-stocks. Here I tried inked lineart after a long break and it made me even more certain about the fact that I don't want to use them anymore.
Some more Ori and the Blind Forest - fanart. Here I wanted to try making glow effects.
Another card-stock experiment. I'm not at all happy with this one :/
Here I tried something completely new and used colored pencils on rough paper. I liked the end result a lot. Because of the rough texture of the paper I had to practice burnishing a lot.
My coloring technique started to improve a lot and I started to move away from papers that were too smooth. Before I had an outright obsession about smooth papers but as I tried different kinds of card-stocks, I started to realize the importance of layering and paper tooth. So I started to long for papers that were a bit more softer and I also started to get interested in watercolors again.
The mandatory, yearly digital experimentation. I was actually very satisfied with this one. This piece really shows how I started to pay more attention to color and values.
I did a series of Christmas cards again. This time I got to try out my newest paper: Hahnemühle Anniversary. I was sold. My work with watercolors came to life thanks to this paper. I actually felt like I can control the amount of moisture and pigment and I had a lot more time to move the pigment around on the paper before it dried. There were no more ugly blooms all over the paper and best of all: I was even able to lift some pigment off the paper! Then when I started doing the final details with colored pencils, the pigment moved effortlessly and smoothly on the paper and was easy to layer and blend with a cotton pud. Can this be true? Yes, it can.
Another card made on Anniversary. Although I was no longer using inked lineart, I was missing some kind of precision. Would a mechanical pencil work? Yes, it did :)
This was made on Ranger's watercolor card-stock. I was afraid to try a different paper but thanks to my experiences with Anniversary, I was now far more confident and skilled with watercolors and everything worked out.
I started the year 2016 with a happy mind. I felt like I had found my own style and what I want to do.
Although I had found a fitting paper for myself, I still wanted to experiment with other papers. Here the idea was good but the execution of it wasn't impressive at all. The paper also scanned horribly.
The year started with a bit of a stumble so I wanted to do something more simple and relaxing. So here's a teeny weeny Bulbasaur.
I wanted to try my newly discovered water-coloring skills on bamboo paper. I struggled with this a lot and had to restart at least twice. But I finally managed to finish it.
Here's a happy Beholder that I made on Anniversary paper. I also made a step-by-step tutorial about this for my DeviantArt. This was really funny to do and I used a lot of reference for it.
My mum wanted a series of small paintings for her kitchen that would depict food. I came up with a series of three small paintings where I tried to depict a certain theme but I still wanted the arrangement to be rather simple. Here the theme was 'let's make jam'. At this point I had replaced my old VanGogh - watercolors with the artist level Rembrant - watercolors. I wanted to try a granulating blue color on the background and it looked absolutely amazing.
The second painting for the series. Themed 'let's made soup'.
Third and final painting for the series. Themed 'let's make salad'. All three paintings got beautiful, thick black frames.
After the series of still-life paintings I wanted to do something a bit more cartoony. A comic artist at DeviantArt called Arven92 was holding a contest where everyone could draw one of her characters per one of her comics. I decided to participate however this particular painting didn't make it in time. I was still trying out new papers as I wanted to try using masking fluid.
Another work that I did for the competition. I wanted to make this with just colored pencils as Arven does her comics with colored pencils and I wanted to stay true to the technique. This one actually made it in time but sadly I wasn't placed in the competition.
Exited about masking fluid, I decided to try out this new paper called Saunders Waterford. Although this paper wasn't quite as impressive to me as Anniversary it was still an amazing paper and being able to use masking fluid gave me a lot of new kind of freedom. However I also started to get interested about vegan art supplies and I found out that this particular paper uses gelatin (animal glue) for it's surface sizing. A pity.
Another work using Saunders Waterford - paper and masking fluid. I had to restart this one at least twice since I was having trouble creating the rainy color palette. But eventually I got it.
At the time of Halloween I decided to participate on another contest. This time it was for DeviantArt's watercolorist's - groups competition. Since it's a watercolor group the work had to be at least 90% watercolor. This was a real challenge. But I'm very proud of myself for pulling it off. Unfortunately I didn't get placed in the competition.
I also participated on the contest of the same Finnish magazine. I didn't place in the competition. Again. When I look at this work now I think I had a good idea but the execution of it was pretty bad. Besides the competition seems to favor realism or abstract art which is really frustrating. The competition is on for this year again but I won't be participating. I simply don't feel like it anymore.
Here's a wintery field scene. I used a lot of reference for this one. I also used light and delicate colors to create a feeling of a winter morning.
I wanted to see how well I could paint on smooth paper now that I had learned a thing or two about watercolors. I also wanted to try the salt technique. I'm pretty happy with the end result. The salt technique worked out beautifully on the background.
And now we're already arriving to this year. I've started to become more and more aware of the fact that although my coloring skills have improved by miles, my drawing skills are lagging behind a lot. I'm most anxious about my style. Whenever I try to search for different ways to improve my skills, I hear constant pounding about realism and the fact that you should draw from a living model. I've tried this from time to time. I've started to use references more and more and I pay more attention to anatomy.
During the spring I started to watch through Aaron Blaise's Character Design - course. I did this drawing after watching a few of the videos. The idea was to use basic shapes and to keep the idea simple. I think I did pretty well.
Keeping in mind the same principles, I made this lil' parrot as a gift to my mother-in-law for Valentine's Day.
At some point I decided to get into some kind of 'study mode' and I ended up doing some still-life studies. This one exceeded all my expectations but despite it's small size it took forever to complete.
I decided to speed up my studying and took colors out of the mess. I decided to do some value studies using pencil and graphite. I drew from black and white photos and tried to focus on the contrast.
I also tried drawing animals. This one had a bit of a tricky reference photo as it had very little variation in values.
I, myself, was happy with my studies but the critique that I received really took a hit on my confidence. 'The darks are not dark enough' , 'Your textures are not 100% realistic', 'The iguana looks OK but it isn't exactly the same as in the photo', 'Real life has no lines, you use too strong outlines', 'You should pay more attention to the reference.'
I do get the point of the comments but they still made me angry. I don't want to copy anything! I want to freaking draw! I often browse Instagram and look at the amazing hyper-realistic portraits of pets but I don't know if I would like to draw like that myself. It would be amazing to make a portrait like that of dear pets that have passed away but would I be able to capture their essence and personality by copying from a photo?
I'd like to tell stories. I'd like to make works where something is happening. When I look at my old works, I love the illustrative ones the most. I hated my 'childish' style for a really long time and even to this day I've been trying to let go of it. However, every single time that I try to develop a more realistic style I feel lost and that I can't do anything.
Isn't the whole point of art to enjoy the journey itself? I always hammer this onto other, beginning artists and yet, do I ever follow my own advice?
This is a card that I made for Easter. I used my own photos as reference. Whenever I make cards like this my aim is to make people smile so I always use an illustrative style on them.
This was a big commission work. The size was a whopping 30x40cm (~12 x 16 inches). When I started doing it I thought that I had bitten off way more than what I can chew. But I studied a lot of different reference material and eventually I got this done. However it's more than obvious that I need some serious practice with backgrounds.
This birthday card design was also meant as a memorial for this tiny lil' hedgehog who wandered onto our yard on May and eventually passed out on the grass. Sadly the cold and harsh May was too much for the little thing and after two weeks it died in the winter nest that I had built for him. I wanted to draw him happy and smiling as I want to believe that he isn't suffering anymore.
I did another birthday card with the same style. I wanted to keep the design simple but still include some little details. The tree stump with mushrooms was found among my own photos.
This one was done a bit under a month ago. I wanted to try realism again and used my own photo as reference. I tried my best to copy the look of the photo but my illustrative style still shines through. Because I tried to follow the photo so closely, some of the proportions on the face ended up a bit crooked. I also tried doing a bit more realistic fur but I kind of hate the end result.
My learning process so far has largely been about trial and error. Every time I've had the feeling of 'I need to practice now', I've read books and online resources to find the 'correct' way of practicing. As a result I've always ended up doing realism. But has it really thought me anything? I constantly have this feeling of taking one step forward and two steps backwards. I try so hard to figure out what is the 'correct' way to learn and make art. But is there such a thing?
My biggest challenge right now is to figure out what I really want to do. I'm no comic artist, but am I an illustrator or do I want to be a realism artist? When I think about what really moves me then animation movies and computer games come to mind first.
From my childhood I have a particular fondness for Tao Tao, Nils Holgersson, Animals of Farthing Wood, Ginga Nagareboshi Gin and Thowra the Silver Brumby. And of course movies like the Lion King, Balto, Vuk and many others. Although I've never been a huge anime fan, Ginga Nagareboshi Gin made a huge impression on me and now as a grown up I've also watched Weed, Wolf's Rain and the movies by Studio Ghibli. I still watch a lot of animation movies these days. Recently I watched Brother Bear 1 and 2 and Zootopia.
Sure it feels a bit silly being a fan of animation movies at this age but they are made by adults anyway. And when you start doing a little research about the incredible amount of work and craftsmanship that they require it's hard not to respect the people who make them. Music also has a bit impact on me and these days the only music that I listen to is soundtrack - music.
On the field of computer games I've always liked the art style of World of Warcraft and other Blizzard games as well. The breathtakingly beautiful Ori and the Blind Forest also made a huge impact on me. As did the Japanese style Okami HD. Games aren't just games to me anymore but more like a work of art. I pay a lot of attention to the story and the graphics design. Realistic looking games just don't feel that interesting anymore.
I recently started watching Aaron Blaise's Big Cats - course and I drew this lion from a reference photo. I tried to focus on the general shapes and gesture rather than just trying to copy the photo.
I had the same idea with this little bunny but I probably didn't pay enough attention to the shapes and ended up with stiff copying instead.
In the future I'm going to focus more on what I like as opposed to doing what other people are telling me. It might feel odd to contemplate on these kinds of things when we're talking about a hobby but when it comes to artistic hobbies, passion for your own creation has a very big role. That passion can die out very quickly when the feedback you get is in the manner of 'Why are you doing that? Why aren't you doing this?'. Yeah well, why aren't we all just drawing realistic portraits of humans and animals? Because if we all did that, storybooks and animation movies wouldn't exist.
I've wanted to improve my own drawing skills for a long time now but I've been thinking about them as huge subjects like 'I want to draw animals better' or 'I want to draw better backgrounds'. These huge goals become easily sidetracked. Now I'm going to use an easier approach and try to break down these goals into smaller, more attainable ones. 'Draw 20 lynx heads', 'Draw 10 gesture drawings of lynxes', 'Draw 20 trees' etc. We'll have to wait and see if this works any better :)
I'm also going to focus more on my illustrative style and stick to a certain technique for coloring. Watercolor pencils are back in my array of tools but instead of thinking in an either-or type of fashion when comparing them to watercolors, I'm going to try and use these two in tandem with each other. Watercolor pencils are also faster and easier to use for small studies. I hope that with keeping these things in mind I get a better groove on art making and discover the same joy towards creating that I still had a couple of years ago.
And now for the ending here's a few videos of things that inspire me. I hope they inspire you too.
